Do you remember the golden days of Hollywood? Do you remember the days when every idea was original and fantastically produced by a stylized auteur. Do you recall the glory days of cinema when money was a non factor? If said yes to any of those questions then you’re either a liar, or Eskimo bros with Thomas Edison because those days barely existed. Hipsters and hypocrites everywhere will criticize a lack of creativity and Hollywood and it’s poor films. Everyone bitches and moans about nothing original coming out of Hollywood , but when genuinely unique movies like Hot Rod or Scott Pilgrim vs. The World come out everyone just skips them to watch some Indie band sing about their dad touching them. It seems as though everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too (and then shit diamonds afterwards). Despite Hollywood being perceived as some type of creative abyss, the cinema pales in comparison to the world of Professional Wrestling. When it comes to plagiarism, Pro-Wres has reached some sort of sub-Dante(‘s Inferno) level of hell. ‘Rasslin has Jayson Blaired it’s fair share of gimmicks in the past, including these five right here.
Number 5. Razor Ramon
Before he was known for being too sweet or too intoxicated, he was simply known as Razor Ramon. Scott Hall went through a fair share of the gimmicks in the 80s including fighting alligators (Gator Scott Hall) and fighting insomnia (Diamond Studd), but it wasn’t until Razor Ramon that it all connected. When Razor burst onto the WWF in the early 1990s, he was immediately catapulted into the main event scene despite his ability to speak with the speed of a developmentally disabled foreigner just learning English. He spoke like Ricky Ricardo chewing on Molasses, but goddamn was he awesome.
It comes as no surprise that the flashy Cuban with a desire for chains, glory, and fallaway slams was based on of one of Hollywood’s greatest characters, Tony Montana.
Scott Hall himself has admitted in shoot interview that the gimmick was based on Scarface (In related news, water is wet). Not only that, but his debut promo might as well have been done by an Al Pacino Impersonator . Unfortunately, Razor didn’t get any scars from eating pussy nor did he have a change of heart in not blowing up a car full of kids. In time, Razor transcended the character and made it his own, but I feel it’s a damn shame that there are no artsy Razor Ramon posters hanging on any college dorm room walls.
Number 4. Waylon Mercy
Lives are gonna be in Waylon Mercy’s hands, and everyone is going to overrate this gimmick for years to come. Before this, Dan Spivey was best known as the dude who looked like Hulk Hogan, the dude who was a Skyscraper, and the dude who beat the fuck out of the Road Warriors for real. However, in the mid 90s Spivey took a completely radical and decidedly sinister turn when he showed up in the WWF as Waylon Mercy. Based off of Max Cady from the film Cape Fear (which was already a remake) ,Waylon was a bipolar barbarian who’d greet you with courtesy then greet you with a clothesline. As unique as it was, the gimmick was a straight imitation of Max Cady. Just check out the clips and judge for yourself.
Personally,I think this gimmick has been totally overrated over time, but I still think it’s pretty awesome. In the straight as an arrow era that was the mid-90s WWF, Waylon seemed to stick out like a sore thumb with his bizarre serial killer intensity. Dan Spivey’s run as Waylon didn’t last long, but even years later everyone talks about and exalts it as some sort of transcendent gimmick in pro wrestling. That being said, what a fucking awful name.
When a man’s heart is full of deceit, it burns up, dies and a dark shadow falls over his soul. From the ashes of a once great man has risen a curse, a wrong that must be righted. We look to the skies for a vindicator, someone to strike fear into the black hearts of the same men who created him. The battle for good and evil has begun. Against an army of shadows, comes a dark warrior, the purveyor of good with a voice of silence and a mission of justice. This is The Crow…. I mean Sting
Honestly though, that little kid speech is the coolest thing in the history of wrestling.
2. Lord Humongous
At least with the previous three entries, the bookers had the general courtesy to slightly change the names of the wrestlers and only draw upon them as inspiration. However, intellectual property ( nor intellect) has always been the strong suit in Memphis, TN where Lord Humongous ruled over the land. Lord Humongous is the Dr Who of professional wrestling (nerd points) played by all sorts of legendary grapplers as Sid Vicious, Bull Buchanan and Emory Hale (The Messiah of Musclebears). The gimmick is exactly as the Lord Humungus from The Road Warrior, minus the leather and homosexual undertones. Sid may rule the world, but he doesn’t open mouth kiss boys. To create Lord Humongous, all you need is a giant white man, a hockey mask, and lots and lots of leather.
Even the Memphis vignette for Humongous ( set to War Machine by Kiss, huge surprise) seems to imply that this is the actual Lord Humongous from the movie. The movie, that is set in the future. The writers of LOST didn’t get that confusing with their writing, (finale still sucked) but somehow Memphis went meta-crazy. The dude even used the same finisher, a chokehold, that he uses in his major scene in the movie. Man, Andy Kaufman may have had a point about people from Memphis.
Screw Sid Vicious, Zeus is the man who rules the world as far as I’m concerned. Straight out of the WWF film, No Holds Barred, came this behemoth determined to beat Hulk Hogan. The man who later who would become Deebo came to the World Wrestling Federation to destroy Hulkamania forever. Zeus gets the top nod in this category simply because HE IS THE CHARACTER FROM THE MOVIE! He was billed as the actor going buckwild (Flavor of love) and deciding to beat Hogan in real life. Imagine if this happened in any other form of entertainment? What if Severus Snape started being a jerk to Daniel Radcliffe while Radcliffe is trying to fuck horses in some new stage play? Ok, that would actually be the raddest thing ever, but that’s beside the point. If anything this proves that Tiny Lister is a better actor than Christian Bale, as Tiny Lister was so into character that he tried to kill Hulk Hogan. Although I tend to believe Christian Blade killed Heath Ledger, but that’s another article for another time. Fact of the matter is anybody who doesn’t agree that Zeus is the best wrestling gimmick based off a movie character totally smells like Dookie.
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