“A _____ is a Person At Your Indy Show”: The Guy Who Should Buy Two Seats

Mitch Albom wrote an emotionally manipulative book titled, “The Five People you Meet in Heaven”. I have no idea what the books about, but I’ll assume it’s sad and everybody dies of ALS in it. That being said, the title of that book led to a conversation with young Alex Fitzgerald about pro wrestling shows. It seems that no matter where you go, WWE, Chikara, TNA, Backyard, NWA:Backyard, that you’re going to find people at every show. With that idea in our head, and a general desire to mock others in our souls, we decided to launch our new weekly feature.  This week, we focus on ” The Guy who Should Buy Two Seats”

Name: “The Guy Who Should Buy Two Seats”

Weight: Enough to make you silently pat yourself on the back

Height: Not enough to match weight

Signature Moves: Armpit Stains, Eating, Not respecting the chair buffer you put next to you, Criticizing physiques, Eating, ruining your good time.

Bio: One has to wonder what makes these people flock to wrestling shows. Now, I will never criticize somebody just for their weight but it seems as those with weight gain comes a gain in obnoxiousness as well. These heffalumps are the worst at voicing their opinions.  They’ll talk about wrestlers with a sense of knowledge, while not realizing that a swell in gut does not equal a swell in knowledge. One of these chunky compatriots is the man who ruined ROH for my dad by failing to purchase two seats. My parents are now divorced, who do think I blame?

Because “The Guy who should buy Two Seats” is a person at your indy show

-Ben Pasco

Picture by Alex Fitzgerald

Have a type of fan you always see at shows? Drop us a line at itsrainingmeng@gmail.com

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Fitz’s Twitter : https://twitter.com/FireProFitz27

Will’s Twitterhttps://twitter.com/willh41

Ben’s Twitterhttps://twitter.com/elpascotexas

Ben’s Youtubehttps://www.youtube.com/user/TheBenPasco

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